Pulling myself back in
My son was born in June 2013. Not coincidentally, my last major blog posts and my last conference appearances happened in 2013. Since then, I’ve stopped writing for outside publications, posted to this blog only sporadically, and have stopped presenting nearly altogether.
When I Google myself (*cough*), I find lots of interesting things that seem as though they happened a very long time ago. Conrad’s arrival was a bit of a turning point for me. I wanted to be home more. I reduced my work hours for a year and stopped doing anything except work and hang out with my family.
But the other day in class, a history teacher colleague who I’ve been co-teaching with said something to the girls about creating their presentations. Their parents were visiting classes for family weekend, and he said “ask your parents for help. They probably know a lot more about presenting than Ms. Ludwig or me.”
I didn’t say anything. First of all, he could have been right. There may have been parents in the room who have presented loads of times. It could even be some of their occupations. And I haven’t presented in a long time now.
But still…something bothered me. Not my colleague himself. How would he know I used to do a lot of presenting? The thing that bothered me was that I was pretty decent at presenting at one point, and I miss it. I liked it. I liked speaking in front of a group, I liked sharing the things that have worked for me, and I liked connecting with people at conferences.
The sad thing is that I’ve missed all the deadlines for submitting proposals this year. Womp womp. But that’s OK. It will give me time to think about what I want to do. How I can ease myself back into this whole scene. I’d like to start writing again, and start sharing. The last time I presented, it was this fall. I was on an informal roundtable panel and I did a less-than-stellar job. I’m out of practice.
But I can get back into practice. I can start up again. So I’m writing this here, to keep myself accountable. That’s it for now. But hopefully not for too long.